I just sat, looking at myself and asking questions. The answers were elusive. The problem for a woman like me is finding a woman like her, like Tilly....They are like Halle’s Comet, they don’t come past my orbit every day. Rare and glorious is what they are. They understand a mind like mine. So few people do. Oh, for certain there are dozens who wield a whip, wear leather and use ropes and all the paraphernalia of the D/s crowd. But those with the mind, the intellect, the sheer strength of will. ‘How long have you two been that way?’ ‘Years, honey. It’s one of the things that sent your mother off against me.’ ‘Maybe she’s just jealous, ‘ I said. ‘Wouldn’t that be a hoot?’ Lilly said. ‘My s****r the cunt lapper.’ ‘Lilly, you are impossible,’ I said. By the time we finished talking I was already feeling easier about my situation. It didn’t matter though, because the bag of toys in the car was mute evidence that my body was accepting it, even if my mind wasn’t sure. While I was out, I. They turned and said Hi Darlin. She tried to ignore her but they came and sat beside her. They explained that their friend Dave was on his stag do and how great it would be if she came and gave him a kiss to start it off in the right frame of mind. She tried to be polite but they were persistent. She told them to fuck off and leave her alone. They disappeared and came back with two more men. They sat and crowded her in. Come on baby. Give Dave a treat. One of them saw what she was reading. He. Making instant decisions wasn’t out of character for me, although sometimes I didn’t get it right, but then that applies to people who take ages to come to a decision and still get it wrong. More likely I think. It was completely in character for me to take the easy option and avoid having to meet and interview strangers. And that’s an odd thing.Quite recently I watched a documentary by a comic called Rhod Gilbert – you’ll find it on BBC iplayer – about shy people. What he was describing fitted.
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